What is something you learned recently?

I wasn’t raised to believe that friendship was important. It was probably the opposite actually. I was constantly told not to trust anyone. When I was young none of my friends were good enough. Only their flaws were pointed out to me and I wasn’t allowed to spend a lot of time with other people outside of my family. My parents kept a very close eye on me. I wasn’t going to fall in with a bad crowd on their watch.

Now as an adult I understand things that I didn’t back then. My mother, in particular, had some unhappy experiences when she was growing up and so she was going to do everything in her power to keep me from having those same kinds of experiences. But, that is unrealistic. Feelings are going to be hurt and people will let you down. Being overprotected didn’t stop any of that. What it did do was stop me from being able to keep many of the friends that I made. Those connections made when we are younger can be very important and without them I really felt like something was missing. Because it was. I had some acquaintances but not real friends.

So, as an adult I’ve had to work hard to learn how to put myself out there. It’s something that I struggle with and sometimes I’m still just not sure how to be a good friend. I know it sounds silly, but I was just never taught that or allowed to develop those skills on my own.

So I’ve observed and learned from other strong women and I’m thankful for their example. I reach out to old friends that I was not allowed to continue friendships with. My closest friend from high school is a true blessing. She managed to hang in there with me against all odds. As adults we’ve grown closer and I’m thankful for her everyday.

So here’s to good friends! May we have them and may we be them.

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