Bloganuary – I’m Still Learning

What is something you learned recently?

I wasn’t raised to believe that friendship was important. It was probably the opposite actually. I was constantly told not to trust anyone. When I was young none of my friends were good enough. Only their flaws were pointed out to me and I wasn’t allowed to spend a lot of time with other people outside of my family. My parents kept a very close eye on me. I wasn’t going to fall in with a bad crowd on their watch.

Now as an adult I understand things that I didn’t back then. My mother, in particular, had some unhappy experiences when she was growing up and so she was going to do everything in her power to keep me from having those same kinds of experiences. But, that is unrealistic. Feelings are going to be hurt and people will let you down. Being overprotected didn’t stop any of that. What it did do was stop me from being able to keep many of the friends that I made. Those connections made when we are younger can be very important and without them I really felt like something was missing. Because it was. I had some acquaintances but not real friends.

So, as an adult I’ve had to work hard to learn how to put myself out there. It’s something that I struggle with and sometimes I’m still just not sure how to be a good friend. I know it sounds silly, but I was just never taught that or allowed to develop those skills on my own.

So I’ve observed and learned from other strong women and I’m thankful for their example. I reach out to old friends that I was not allowed to continue friendships with. My closest friend from high school is a true blessing. She managed to hang in there with me against all odds. As adults we’ve grown closer and I’m thankful for her everyday.

So here’s to good friends! May we have them and may we be them.

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  1. This was so so good! I can really relate. I am such a relational and social person and yet sometimes friendships (Especially as adults) can be hard. I’ve read a few books recently that have been so good for me. I found you through Bloganuary…I’m doing the final week (started last week) all in one post so I will post that one on Tuesday. I’ve been enjoying your blog and posts. I need to read a few more of them since I’m behind. Have a great week.

  2. I’m glad you’re getting to make and grow your friendships. My friends have always been some of the most important people in my life, so I know I’m lucky, but since college, I’ve been moving a lot, and learning to make new friends is tough!

  3. Thank you for sharing these thoughts – my background sounds a lot like yours and the idea of trusting anyone was a high wall to climb up and over to see what was on the other side of the isolation of the fear of life. Looks like you have made great progress – you go, girl!

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