Some of the links on my site are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
I really enjoy watching King of the Hill. Who couldn’t love Hank and his total devotion to everything propane. Being a propane salesman isn’t just a job for Hank, it’s pretty much his whole identity.
“I sell propane and propane accessories” – Hank Hill.
“The only woman I’m pimping from now on is Sweet Lady Propane. And I’m tricking her out all over this town.”
Hank’s wife, Peggy, is, in her mind at least, perfect in all things. Just ask her. No you don’t need to. She’ll voluntarily tell you.
“I Am Finally Getting The Recognition I Have Always Given Myself.” – Peggy Hill
Hank is always disappointed that he’s son, Bobby, isn’t more like him. But, Bobby marches to the beat of his own drum.
“To tell you the truth, Dad, that sounds boring. It’s okay if you’re into boring, but I’m not.” – Bobby Hill
Hank’s dimwitted niece, Luanne, lives with them and the poor girl just isn’t right.
“Uncle Hank, I quit being a virgin the first time I had sex.” – Luanne Platter
Hank’s dad comes to visit occasionally. He’s a miserable human being and an even worse father. Incidentally, he’s a tiny man because his shins were blown off in the war.
“So I rushed ’em, but it was a trap. They opened fire and blew my shins off. Last thing I remember, I beat ’em all to death with a big piece of Fatty. I woke up in a field hospital, and they were sewing my feet to my knees.” – Cotton Hill
Hank has 3 good lifelong friends: Dale is a conspiracy theorist. Bill is a depressed, divorced Army vet. Boomhauer is the cool one that mumbles incoherently most of the time. They all stand out in the alley talking about life and drinking beer.
“So it turns out I’m not the actual Dale Gribble, but a clone of him. The original Dale Gribble is a super-warrior from the year 2087. The second me, I, was created to help the first me fight the invading Mongol armies.” – Dale Gribble
“I would never join a religion that restricted my diet. I don’t want to get into heaven that way.” – Bill Dauterive
“This is your lungs on air. This is your lungs on smoke. See the difference, man? It’s going to stunt your growth all over, you’ll end up lyin’ in that dang ol‘ hospital bed like Morton Downey, Jr., Robert Downey, Jr. even worse, man, yo. Talk about oral gratification all that dang it, is going to give you a low sperm count, man, give ear hair, yo. It just ain’t… ain’t no good.” – Boomhauer
If you’re looking for a cartoon for grown-ups that’s not disgusting you might want to give this a try. Also, Bob’s Burger’s Thanksgiving episodes are stellar! Enjoy.